What a night

I didn't sleep last night, not because I didn't want to, not because I wasn't tired but because I was scared. I didn't sleep for more than two hours, every time I did fall asleep I had a nightmare.
Now I have never been someone who had typical dreams, ever since I can remember they have been really intense. The first scary dream I can remember having was when I was five. If you ever want to know more, just ask.

I am assuming that last night's pattern of bad dreams stems from a couple of things, the sleeping medication I am on and a scary movie Ryan watched at the beginning of the week. Trying to justify it doesn't make me feel better though because there was something different about these dreams, I was really scared.

Every evening I take medication to sleep and until now it has been fine, but last night felt different. I was happy and tired when I went up to bed at 11pm, I listened to some music and went to sleep. At one point when I was listening to music, Claudia started talking in her sleep and it freaked me out a bit, but no big deal.

I can't say exactly what happened but I will do my best to explain.

I was dreaming that I was in a house, a dark, cold house. There were a few people with me, some sort of a group consisting of people who were all working toward the same goal. The atmosphere was still and thick, these people were worried. The next thing I remember was kneeling on a hardwood floor, panicked. Next to me was a man, I didn't see his face and I don't remember feeling anything from him. In front of us was an infant, wrapped up on a pillow. I could hear people talking about someone dying (at the time I believed they were talking about my Gramma, I see now that it was another old woman.). These people kept asking if she was dead yet and the man next to me was telling them it hadn't happened yet but it would happen soon. I couldn't stand the idea of watching or hearing someone die. I woke up.
My heart was pounding and I was sad, but I got over it, snuggled closer to Ryan and went back to sleep.

Now I was on the porch of a motor home with the same group of people and they were afraid. Someone was on the ground and I went to them. It was a woman and her eyes were closed, the grass was wet and she wasn't breathing. I picked up her head and held it in my hands and I cried. Everyone on the porch was aware of what had happened but they did nothing, they all just stood there, afraid. Before I got up to get help I kissed the eyelids of the woman I was holding, as I did this a giant WOOSH of air blew past my head and one of the women on the porch fell to the ground. Everyone started screaming. The woman who had fallen got up a few seconds later, she looked straight at me and smiled, a rotten, terrible smile. Her eyes were black, her teeth were rotten and she spoke with a horrible voice. I woke up.

This time I went straight for the light and sat up. I was nearly in tears because I was so afraid. My eyes darted around the room searching for something. Ryan woke up enough to ask me what was wrong, I told him that I couldn't sleep in our room anymore. It was 12:30am when I went downstairs and turned on the tv. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, logged on to Facebook and watched "Primary Colours". It was 3:30am when Ryan came down the stairs and asked me to come back to bed. Considering three hours had passed and I kept myself busy I assumed my mind had forgotten. I was wrong. I fell asleep quickly but not for long.

This time I was in an apartment, still with the same people and I knew this time that I didn't want to be there. I thought about leaving the apartment and running. I opened the door and looked out into the hall, most of the lights were out but at the end of the hallway there was a mirror and I saw the refection of the back of an old woman. She was wearing a nightgown that came just above her knee, her hair was waist long, grey and messy. Although I couldn't see more than that I was afraid of her so I closed the door and returned to the apartment. The group was sitting on high stools in a semi circle in the dining room, I went into the kitchen. It was then that I heard that awful voice again, a voice that was deep, raspy, condescending and harsh. One of the women in the group began speaking firmly to it only to be dismissed. I heard the voice say "I want to speak to the one who kissed my eyes." I screamed. I woke up.

This time I was actually shaking. I couldn't believe it happened again. I was still for a moment and I closed my eyes but on my eyelids I saw her face. I woke Ryan this time. I turned on the lamp and he suggest I read something nice but I was too tired to read and too afraid to sleep.

In order to understand what happened next I must give you a brief history of a dream I had when I was no older than eleven.

I stood in front of a burning hospital, I could hear people calling for help. I felt a hand and I turned to my left and there stood Jesus. He asked that I accompany him into the hospital, I told him I was afraid to get burnt. He smiled and told me not to worry, as long as I stayed by His side I would not suffer so much as a minor blister. We walked through the fire into the hospital where people were burning but everyone that Jesus passed stopped burning and left the hospital unharmed. There was a particular room He wanted to go to, and when we walked in there was a woman lying on her bed, her hospital gown on backwards and open exposing her entire body. Jesus lifted her over His shoulder and took both of us back to my house. He put her down on my bed and told me He had to go somewhere but he would return very soon. I sat in my room watching the woman sleeping in my bed. Soon she began tossing and mumbling, her tossing soon turned to writhing and I saw a bubble appear on the bottom of my bedroom wall. The bubble began moving horizontally across the wall and withing seconds my room was on fire. Jesus came running through the door, threw the woman over His shoulder and ran from my room, I ran after Him but I couldn't keep up. I went back to my room and found two chocolate hearts on my pillow that said "Jesus loves you" and I cried. I actually woke up crying because I wanted Him to come back.

Now I can better explain to you what happened after the third time I woke up last night. It was 5:00am and I was staring at the ceiling and thinking, I guess silently speaking to Jesus. I was thinking about that dream and I thought "If you would please come back and do that again I know I would feel better. I am so afraid right now, I need you to come back to my dream." I fell asleep again.

This time I was in Toronto, it was busy and people were happy, there was some sort of celebration being broadcast on the news. I was among many just strolling down the street enjoying the people and window shopping, I even went in to a store or two. When I came out of a store I noticed a young woman in a purple robe smiling at me, she began singing. I kept walking and just a few feet away there was another young person wearing a purple robe singing the same song. Soon the song filled the air so I heard nothing else. There were hundreds of people lining the streets in their purple robes singing the most beautiful song I had ever heard. I remember thinking to myself "I hope I can youtube this so Ryan can hear it."
The way these people stood created a path for me to follow, all the way with song and warm smiles. The path ended at the side of a building with the largest painting of Jesus I had ever seen looking more welcoming and peaceful than I had ever seen Him. He was smiling at me and I felt safe and comforted. I woke up, to the alarm going off at 7:00am. I was still very tired and shaken but hopeful and happy.

I am sorry that was so long! Thanks for reading it anyways!