It's been a long time.
The other day I got an e-mail called "The Faces of Meth" in it was an attached website with before and after mug shots of people who are on Crystal Meth. I knew what I was going to see as I have seen it many times before but nothing could prepare me for what I would feel.
I cried, not only for the people in these photos but because of how exposed I felt. I looked into their eyes and saw me, and you. They are us and we are them. The only thing that separates us is a decision and after that another decision, a series of decisions that led them deeper and deeper into despair. For just a second can you imagine what it would feel like to feel so alone, afraid, hurt and hopeless that only the promise of forgetting who you are could make you want to continue living?
Do you think that anyone wakes up one morning and says "Hey, I think I'd like a life of drugs, lies and shallow promises of something better."? It's not an all-at-once decision, and I'm not only talking about Crystal Meth, I'm talking about drugs, alcohol, abuse, depression and so many other things that bring about a false sense of security, control and hope and strip you of anything that is real.
It's about being a prisoner, held captive by yourself without any real acknowledgement that you hold the key to your own release.
When I looked into the shallow, glazed eyes of these people I saw what resides inside, but they wore it on the outside. I saw what lives in me on their strung out, scabbed and bruised faces. I am held prisoner by my own guilt and longing for a life free from the haunting memories and faces that live in my mind.
Now I have the opportunity to make a decision and I know where I want to be; right here, right now, living, loving and growing.
I have never been so grateful for the people and abundant love in my life.
