My Personal Nonsense: October 2010

I realize that there are very few people who actually read what I write, and that's ok. At this point I am stuck in a place where I feel helpless and this helps me feel like I am at least trying to do something good.

The other day I wrote about the seriousness of bullying and it seems as though I have been given new eyes and everything looks different.

It started a few weeks ago when I started hearing about the devastation of the recent teen suicides. The idea that there are still so many bigots out there really surprised me. I know it seems naive to think that way but because all of the people I know are so beautiful and kind I just assumed that the rest of mankind was the same, or at least on their way.

Even after hearing about all of the terrible things that have been happening, I decided that these we still isolated incidents. Now that I believe was truly naive. There is a part of me that is quite disappointed in myself for not seeing these things, not recognizing it earlier. As an adult, I was ignorantly unaware of what was happening.

It didn't really hit me until the other day after I watched 'Glee' and I was on their Facebook page to leave a comment on a video. I started by reading the comments ahead of my own, I don't like to post something that repeats what someone else said. As I read I saw with 'new eyes' and I was shocked.

In order to really understand you have to know the show or at least have an idea what it's about. For anyone not interested in TV I will explain; it is about a high school glee club and we watch them deal with what it is like being a teenager and a human being, through song. On last weeks show a few things happened that seemed to upset some people to the point of renouncing the show. Two female cheerleaders made out, and a boy in a wheel chair lost his virginity. You would be amazed at the ruckus this caused, or maybe you wouldn't. People made comments about the show turning trashy, and others were upset that they can 'no longer watch the show with their 11 year old daughter'. I have a few things to say about that:

1) The show is rated TV-14 so chances are your 11 year old daughter was already seeing things that maybe she shouldn't, if that's the kind of thing you worry about.

2) Let's recap what happened last season, shall we? Quinn, a young woman (I don't know, maybe 17) who was president of the celibacy club got pregnant and lied about who the father was. They made cupcakes with marijuana in them to sell to students to raise money. In a dream sequence three couples, one of which was a teacher and a guidance councillor, made out and prepared to have sex while singing Madonna's 'Like A Virgin'. The principal was blackmailed with a suggestive photo of him and another teacher (it was a joke and we all knew that, I think it's the blackmail that could be seen as an issue). Please don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about the show or trying to point out things that are bad, it happens to be my favourite show and I wouldn't miss it.

The reason I bring it up is because after all of the things that happened in the first season, it seems absolutely ridiculous that anyone would be upset by a couple of chicks making out and a kid in a wheel chair loosing his virginity. This is bigotry, whether people want to realize it or not. I think that the scariest thing is that they don't see it.

Today I saw a video that comes from the USA, an address given by a councillor Joel Burns from Fort Worth. I have put it on here so that you can watch it if you choose. When I saw this video three things happened; First I bawled my eyes out, then had a sensation as though my heart was being torn from my chest, changed and then put back never to be the same again, and then I got really, REALLY angry.

We are losing our children, our babies. 11 year old boys shooting themselves because they don't want to endure ridicule. 13 year old boys who, because of their sexuality (or assumption of), are harassed so badly that they decide the best thing they can do is to hang themselves from a tree in their yard. This has to stop, now.

I know what it feels like to feel abandoned by those who are supposed to protect you. No child should feel unwanted, unloved, or unimportant ever.

Please take 13 minutes to watch this video.

How do you choose who you love? How do you choose who you hate?

Everyday thousands of children are bullied and this isn’t ‘A Christmas Story’ kind of bullying, it is neither justifiable nor funny.

Have you ever asked your child what they know about bullying? Has it ever occurred to you that this is an issue worth being discussed often and in detail?

As adults we have a responsibility, not only to our own children, but to all children. We are supposed to be there to protect them from these things. Not only do we need to protect those being bullied, but the bully as well. The bully mentality starts at a very young age and we CAN change that.

Our children need us to stand up for them; they need us to teach them what to do if they are being picked on and how to feel good about themselves. Most children who pick on others do so because their own self esteem is very low and they get attention, even praise when they pick on others. We need to open up to our children, share our own experiences and make sure that they know that they are amazing, just the way they are.

There are too many children lost to suicide each year because they feel so alone and need help. Too many children fall into depression because they don’t know what to do. I’m not a fan of ‘anti’ anything so I don’t like using phrases like ‘anti-bullying’ I like to think of it as being proactive, I am ‘pro-self-respect ‘. Let us be ‘Pro’s’ together.

We are losing too many beautiful children to something that can be prevented.